As salam too alll..
Salam ramadhan Kareem..Wow Ramadhan come again this year Alhamdulillah im still alive..Im still can do the fasting this year ya..! well i found out used to be my best friend and my brother i guess..Hurmm kinda sad when i read all his story ya..!Hurm ramadhan really teach me how to forget the past and forgive people who have been hurts me..! well i keep on asking my self..have i forgive them?? Am i still in hurt?? Do i happy to see both of them??I totally no idea.Im still in shock, im still in sad cos i never xpect they will betray me..! After all they human and still doing mistake ya..I guess i will not in relation for long time as my heart still stick for my no2..! No matter what no 1 can change that..!
Okay back to the wild cat hahaha.
Yea i hate him so so much cos not being honest to me and his self..!well who am i to judge ya..I keep on doing mistakes too..But 1 thing i really like him cos he is trying to be honest but he cant cos of the situation he facing..I guess im too good to all people until they can step on me until they can backstab me.I dont know what does it feel to you to stab your own best friend..Dont you ever think that this things will happen to you 1 day??Naa maybe not cos you never know what is written in you future yet..!
Well im still hurt,im still waiting and hoping for my no2 to come back and its look obviously cos i keep on checking his profile every 15 minutes..( am i too obsess) hahah..I dont know its really hard for me to forget him even tho i tried to but its really hard..! what ever i do wherever i go i still can feel him around..Its like this things happen yesterday although is pass almost 5 months now...I might be stupid every night before i sleep i'll pray to god and ask 3 thing's.
My prayer is,
1) Hope my family will stay well and healthy.
2) Hope my number 2 will be fine as always and happy
3) Hope my number 2 will open his heart back to me again.
I know is kinda weird to ask that kind of prayer.Well you never know Allah is the best..
Hahaha silly me asking those stupid prayer.
Hurmm i admit it im facing lots of problem too..My job is almost over and i need to get a new contract.Well manage to get new 1 but another problem coming in,All my payment is on hold again until futher notice..Damn i have to postpones my trip to london and south africa for now..Julia and mark keep on asking me to move over,But i keep on giving an excuse...recently i just lost about nearly 2k rm..This all from the air fare i bought for me and him to visit singapore which schedule on june and trip to bali on the same months.Hurmm But what else i can do all is in my dream..Never mind after all janet and chris pay for it and they a bit upset too cos i didnt go..Haha hopefully i can fly with them to the states this end of the year for 2 months..Is still under discussion for now..
1 things in my mind now,
How am i going to give him the contract,? am i ready to meet him?am i ready to face him?? Look he make a mistakes but i have to apologies.No way man its totally unfair.But i never xpect anything from him.Schedule to start recording on october or early november as they still waiting for my call now..Jennifer help me a lot and sometimes she ask me why did i keep on doing this after what have he done to you?? The best answer is." PROMISE" .. Last time i did promise to give this this cos this is his dream.Lot of people saying that im stupid ,dumb cos im still helping him on this..Naaaa let them be..I just want him to get what he want and i'll be happy too.. Some times i dont know wheter im doing a right this or not..Everyday when i wake up i will ask my self what did i do yesterday.what will happen later? are things going to get better tomorrow.??Only god know how and what is my heart all this while..
There is a day when i found out that he is in deep shit i just cant do anything cos i dont know what else i can do...I just pray hope everything will be good and safe for him.DaY by day pass by my love towards him is getting stronger eventhough i knw he is with some1 new..Do i look like i care?? haha...I still love him bha,,Not easy to forget everything that we bulid from the beginning until 1 day..Hurmmmm lazy to comment this side.well i dont care if he is reading this..Hahaha cos this is the place to write down whatever you want ha..
Some of my friend tell me why dont i start a new life..? Well i am in my new life now but he will stick in my heart until the day i died..You see i never found a person who leave they name in my heart this bad ya,,Okay my previous 1 in the same but took me 1 month to forget and what year it was?? I cant remember ya..
Should i write it all down here..?Am i running out of space?? This place it meant to write whatever you want and you like..So till then....To be continue la..Ill be back doe..! But here is 1 of my fav song ever..I dont mind keep on repeated it for thousand times.. LOL
