My trip before raya.

Waa how time fly so fast ya. All muslim around d world will celebrate raya in less than a week.
But before that i have 2 more jobs to finish in lawas n sipitang.
Yes im back to travel again. Hurmm i left my place aroind 545 am. Reach bus terminal around 645 and menumbok town around 930am. Fron there i catch ferry at 10. Woo manage to sleep since i dont enough sleep for almost 2 weeks now hahaha. Arrive labuan around 1045 and im still sleepy my eyes so so tired. Haha i left my bags at kakak maggie spa since its too big hahah lots of things inside. Then went to my project site spend almost 1 hour to check and seems everything goes well.
After that i get a ticket to sipitang town in 45 min via labuan by speedboat. The actually fare was 27rm,but before we left the boat man asking for another 3rm.so its 30rm in total ya. Well havent check with the ferry terminal about this.

I arrive sipitang at 2pm cos the wave is high and is hard for us to enter the shore since the water is shallow. We stuck almost 30 min to enter the jetty. Hurmm im still sleepy la. They leave us at kg tg pagar. Damn is far from the town but lucky some of the vilagers using their car as a bus or taxi.
While waiting for my friend to fetch me i went to local cyber to check my farm ville. Since my line was not very good and i have ni laptops with me but ita cheap ah. Im using the internet almost 30 mins and they charged me 50cents. Wohooooo murah ka?
Okay im done for that syafiq fetch me and we went home im so so sleepy and my ears are killing me cos i've change my earings to a long and big size. Damn its hurt me and i have to remove it cos i cant breathe hahaha. So so so pain.
On the evening just before iftar. Me syafiq and his mum went to bazaar ramadhan. I was thinking to get my fav dish which is ' nasi katok '. Aiyooo sad la me they dont sell it anymore huwaaaa im really craving for that for months now. The best i ever have was in brunei wel obviously its from there. Hurmm so sad even until im blogging now i still dont get mt nasi katok huwaaaa.
Let it be then next months i will get my self nasi katok even i have to go to brunei. Hahaha

Okay when im blogging this im on my way to mainland after spending 3 days in sipitang and lawas too. The bus is half full since they were from brunei. There is a guy sitting behind me he look cute man hahaha. I guess he i bruneian or maybe from lawas. Wee but all i can say he is really cute. Hurmm there is few things keep bugging me and disturb my mind. Aiyoo dont know la i hope i can get him out of my mind soon. Why la i still keep on thinking about him. Naa forget about him la.
My sahur this morning was a bubur durian. Ayam masak kunyit and sup payau. Nice uh? The weekends is approaching and raya too. Im still thinking what am i going to do this weekends. Im totally blurrr.shopping? Naa not in mood doe. I dont feel the
raya spirit this year. Naa its just a celebration anyway.

There is only 1 word i can say. I really really miss him.
At this point my idea to blog gone cos his face appear in my mind again hahah so i dont know what else i need to bloq. He is coming down to kk friday for shopping and drive back to lbn on sunday. Do i have a chance to meet him? Naa i dont think so.
Even i have but im not goin to meet him.
Huwaaa i hate everytime i blog there will be his part too.
Can i just get rid him from here? Hahaha.
Okay i guess i need to stop here. Ill be back soon
Wait ah mybe after raya kot then ill update my bliq

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No idea.

Wow i left my bloq just a few days ago. Yesterday was a great and a bad day for.Okay i manage to meet chris n jane we went for diving in mamutik islan at 245pm, gosh it was fasting day but i went for dive? Hahah it was good actually not that bad. But before that i went online on my facebook ya. Naa its just a daily routine checking updates and my farm. Wohoo kk is just too hot so i went to a local cybercafe while waiting for chris to fetch me up. As usual browsing and the 1st person i will check a profile is zav and after that shazlee. Silly me no othe intension as i just wana see what is their new updates ya.

Well when i go to shaz page there were nothing unusual all his fv adver on his wall i left and xlick to zav profile.wow he is bz ya lots of people saying hi to him. But that was not my concern cos i found out something fishy posted by a user called ' stapeny slr' who the heck is he or perhaps she? Naa i just ignored.
Search read search and finally saw his post and zav to cek his inboxes. Hurmm naa none of my bzness doe. They mite have others thing to settle down. Well after farming i went back again n see what is their progres and i read a part of the sentences ( nasip la aku inda lagi bkwn ngn ia .rupanya perangai dia. . . . . ) somethin like that naaa i dont care but kinda worried la why who and what happen? I called up zav and ask how is he doing plus what is really goin on but he just act normal like nothing happen until i found out this morning around 0100 hrs while im preparing my stuff and sounds really bad. You wana knw? Go and check his fb la. Haha.
After saw his new post, i tried to call and ask who n what happen but no respond. He mite be sleeping doe.
But 1things make my head spinning ya cos when i read the cronology up side down seems thats post goes to me cos he was telling some one is been entered his facebook and do things. Well obviously i knw his pass n shaz maybe? Or some other people who close to him? Naa leave it. But yet i cant cos i knw thats is really goes to me.

Hurmm well is guess this is the way how he want it. He want to terminate me from being his friend maybe? I dont get the real picture is. But im sure that post is dedicated to me. Waaa im honour to receive it. Hahahha idiot la u josh.
Okay ive send him as text and not hoping that he will reply cos i understand he can read. He is expert is everything i adore him but sadly both of us have to end our relation as a friend in not a very good way. Well if he hates me and really hates me he can always tell me what in his heart or make it easy just send me a text tell no needt o disturb o bla bla bla. But he make it is diffrent way. I have no idea why he hates me suddenly cos everytime i keep on telling him to tell me or ask me if there is anything wrong. But yet he still he inside and act cool like nothings happen ya. Hurmm i hate waiting i dont like to lie yet not a stupid hypocrite.
I used to respect u last time i even make u a role model to my self. But when i knw the true colours of you im totally speechless and i can say i dont know you. Very well yet. The past 1 year ago was a trial is was a test for you to see wheter im fit or not. Well ive got the answer now. Im making easier for you eventhough you drop a bomb shell to me. But i dont care cos i knw i can stand own my own. Hurmm i totally dont know you anymore. I know some one will read this for you ya.
Well happy reading. Im glad if you cant read all my blog cos i wrote everything about you. You never appreciate people who appreciate you the most. Its seems that they are diapers. Once used it no more recycle. This is my opinion.
You wana hate me? U upset with me? Carry on then. Wel at least for once im living in an honestly but not in pretending trying to cover your ass with a small towel which people still can see it.

I dont know at this point im not xpecting anyting. I just want you to be happy but. I you hate me just show it. You dont to tell the whole world that you hates me? What will you get? Nothing.
End of the day you get the shit but not me.
I was so so disappointed with everything but who the hell am i to jugde you ya?

Well hope i will get another bad news after this. And what that will be? He gonna remove me? Blocked me? Bha mana mana jak la. As long u happy.


I will come back and updates more about this soon. For now i need to sleep .Gosh im so damn sleepy havent sleep for 3days.

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Nothing much its just newly update.

As salam too alll..
Salam ramadhan Kareem..Wow  Ramadhan come again this year Alhamdulillah im still alive..Im still can do the fasting this year ya..! well i found out used to be my best friend and my brother  i guess..Hurmm kinda sad when i read all his story ya..!Hurm ramadhan really teach me how to forget the past and forgive people who have been hurts me..! well i keep on asking my self..have i forgive them?? Am i still in hurt?? Do i happy to see both of them??I totally no idea.Im still in shock, im still in sad cos i never xpect they will betray me..! After all they human and still doing mistake ya..I guess i will not in relation for long time as my heart still stick for my no2..! No matter what no 1 can change that..!

Okay back to the wild cat hahaha.
Yea i hate him so so much cos not being honest to me and his self..!well who am i to judge ya..I keep on doing mistakes too..But 1 thing i really like him cos he is trying to be honest but he cant cos of the situation he facing..I guess im too good to all people until they can step on me until they can backstab me.I dont know what does it feel to you to stab your own best friend..Dont you ever think that this things will happen to you 1 day??Naa maybe not cos you never know what is written in you future yet..!

Well im still hurt,im still waiting and hoping for my no2 to come back and its look obviously cos i keep on checking his profile every 15 minutes..( am i too obsess) hahah..I dont know its really hard for me to forget him even tho i tried to but its really hard..! what ever i do wherever i go i still can feel him around..Its like this things happen yesterday although is pass almost 5 months now...I might be stupid every night before i sleep i'll pray to god and ask 3 thing's.

My prayer is,

1) Hope my family will stay well and healthy.
2) Hope my number 2 will be fine as always and happy
3) Hope my number 2 will open his heart back to me again.

I know is kinda weird to ask that kind of prayer.Well you never know Allah is the best..
Hahaha silly me asking those stupid prayer.
Hurmm i admit it im facing lots of problem too..My job is almost over and i need to get a new contract.Well manage to get new 1 but another problem coming in,All my payment is on hold again until futher notice..Damn i have to postpones my trip to london and south africa for now..Julia and mark keep on asking me to move over,But i keep on giving an excuse...recently i just lost about nearly 2k rm..This all from the air fare i bought for me and him to visit singapore which schedule on june and trip to bali on the same months.Hurmm  But what else i can do all is in my dream..Never mind after all janet and chris pay for it and they a bit upset too cos i didnt go..Haha hopefully i can fly with them to the states this end of the year for 2 months..Is still under discussion for now..

1 things in my mind now,
How am i going to give him the contract,? am i ready to meet him?am i ready to face him?? Look he make a mistakes but i have to apologies.No way man its totally unfair.But i never xpect anything from him.Schedule to start recording on october or early november as they still waiting for my call now..Jennifer help me a lot and sometimes she ask me why did i keep on doing this after what have he done to you?? The best answer is." PROMISE" .. Last time  i did promise to give this this cos this is his dream.Lot of people saying that im stupid ,dumb cos im still helping him on this..Naaaa let them be..I just want him to get what he want and i'll be happy too.. Some times i dont know wheter im doing a right this or not..Everyday when i wake up i will ask my self what did i do yesterday.what will happen later? are things going to get better tomorrow.??Only god know how and what is my heart all this while..
There is a day when i found out that he is in deep shit i just cant do anything cos i dont know what else i can do...I just pray hope everything will be good and safe for him.DaY by day pass by my love towards him is getting stronger eventhough i knw he is with some1 new..Do i look like i care?? haha...I still love him bha,,Not easy to forget everything that we bulid from the beginning until 1 day..Hurmmmm lazy to comment this side.well i dont care if he is reading this..Hahaha cos this is the place to write down whatever you want ha..

Some of my friend tell me why dont i start a new life..? Well i am in my new life now but he will stick in my heart until the day i died..You see i never found a person who leave they name in my heart this bad ya,,Okay my previous 1 in the same but took me 1 month to forget and what year it was?? I cant remember ya..

Should i write it all down here..?Am i running out of space?? This place it meant to write whatever you want and you like..So till then....To be continue la..Ill be back doe..! But here is 1 of my fav song ever..I dont mind keep on repeated it for thousand times.. LOL

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